Saying that, Roxy looked at my eyes.
Her eyes were clear.
"To me, it was a second family."
Roxy got up from the bed as she said that.
She went behind me, and when she knelt, she hugged my head closely.
"Rudi. I will share your sorrow with you."
I felt something soft at the back of my head.
I could hear Roxy's heartbeat thumping.
It was a relaxing sound.
I wonder why hearing this sound made me feel relieved.
I wonder why I felt everything will be okay.
The same goes for the smell.
Roxy's smell made me at peace.
In such a hard time, when I remember Roxy's smell, it mysteriously became my support.
I wonder why.
The answer was coming out of my throat.
But it didn't come.
"I am your Shisho. Although I am a small and inadequate Shisho, I have lived longer than you, and am sturdy. I don't mind if you wish to lean on me."
I grabbed Roxy's hand in front of me.
It was a small hand.
But, it felt big.
Looking at this hand also made me feel at ease.
I wonder if I'll be more at ease if I was closer to her.
"Even if it's painful, if two people share it, it will become lighter."
Roxy parted from me as she said that.
Instinctively, I pulled Roxy's hand towards me.
"Ah."
Her small body easily fell on my lap.
Our eyes met directly.
Her slightly sleepy eyes were wet with tears.
Her face was bright red, and her mouth was shut tight.
I placed my hand on her back and drew her closer.
The sound of Roxy's heartbeat was getting faster.
It was warm.
"It, it's okay, you know?"
I wonder what's okay.
"W, when males are grieving, when they sleep with a woman, I heard they would feel refreshed."
Who said that?
Ah, must be Elinalize.
What is Roxy saying at a time like this?
"Women are the same, they also want to forget painful things, and it's painful for me when Paul died. If Rudi is okay with it, I don't mind at all if you sleep with me."
Roxy kept talking hurriedly.
"That's right. I want to forget about all this. But with a body that has no appeal... If you don't like it, you can go to a brothel you know?"
Roxy kept talking as if making excuses.
This person was a girl that I never ceased to respect.
If I did what I was told and slept with her, I wonder what it would be like.
"W, well, even though I look like this I'm very experienced, and I think I can do much better than the other little girls. We'll do this casually, just to wash away this bad mood, and just try it out for once..."
Roxy's incoherent words could not reach me.
I was in the mood.
Just hearing her heartbeat I felt so much more relaxed.
If I get closer to her, I wonder if I would feel even more comfortable?
I was thinking of excuses like that.
"Ah, well, if you're talking about someone who would be better, I don't mind bowing to Elinalize...ah!"
I pushed Roxy down on the bed.
Very violently.
It might be that I was venting out all my anger.
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