Assaultive and Homicidal Behavior
How do we explain interpersonal violence, especially partner violence and homicide? It is difficult because there is a transgression of a basic sense of connectedness between people and we wonder how this kind of behavior exists. We know that early attachment disturbance and the impairment of self-regulation are major diagnostic factors with traumatized children (van der kolk and Fisler, 1995). In courtship violence, the aggressor often does not want the relationship to end, the aggressor sometimes makes death threats, stalks the victim, parks outside of the victim's house, and makes harassing phone calls. The harasser cannot tolerate separation. This actually affects the limbic system. He or she feels abandoned, angry, and depressed and may become suicidal. Rage is often behind the depression. Rejection is an attack on the ego. Frequently the aggressore feel that they cannot manage on their own, and they lack impulse control. Although a violent act of aggression on their partner calms them temporarily, the underlying rage remains. The distorted thought is: I killed her because I loved her.