I hope that you are better and finding yourself.
No one can do that for you. I tried to help you market your skills by getting "real " business cards and by getting a professional make-up case/table but, you had to promote yourself and your excellent skills.
And then , what do you do? try to harm yourself. It is so sad for me to know you did that. I've never known anyone who did that.
I won't return to bkk , but even if I did , I wouldn't call you because I can't be responsible, and I wouldn't take the chance that somehow I would effect you in such a terrible manner.
This is not easy for me to say because I think you are really GREAT and I like you in so many ways. We shared so many fun experiences. We had a very nice friendship. We laughed all the time: the birthday cake. WOW. but
NOW, quit feeling sorry for yourself, get off your butt and promote your professional ability. Don't only rely on your teacher to find work for you. Get out there and talk to every tv station , knock on doors. Show them your resume and get a real job at a salon to sharpen your skills and make connections.
Your English can't hurt either. Promote yourself to English speaking women. YOU CAN DO IT, but you really have to work!!!
My dear, I will always have a warm feeling in my heart for you but , I can't help you. Only you can do it!!!
With much affection and hope,
your young boy,