Hey mild,
I hope you are having a wonderful day, and if
you're not, give yourself a big hug from me :)
Now, there's something that I wanted to tell you.
For most women, when they get in to a
relationship, and they want to express their love
to a man, they often try to complement and
encourage a man, thinking this will show their
love to the man and that it would add value to the
relationship.
You may have heard me say before that one of the
KEY things to inspiring a man to just adore you,
fall in love with you and want to protect, care
for and commit to you forever is that you have to
make him feel like a man first.
And one of the keys to this is bringing out his
masculinity!
If you don't know how to bring out his masculinity
- not just for YOU, but for HIS sense of
happiness, then your relationship will start to
become a FRIENDSHIP.
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The more you try to COMPLIMENT a man, the more
he's going to view you as just a friend. And the
more he's going to pull away.
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So, tune in to what I'm about to teach you,
because since we are WOMEN by nature - we fall in
to the trap of complimenting a man without knowing
it, and this will start to decrease the level of
attraction you have with a man, leading it to
become a friendship.
Complimenting a man makes him Pull Away
Have you ever felt your man pulling away, or
noticed him looking somewhat upset, and you went
to him and tried to comfort him, with COMPLETELY
positive intentions, and only to have him seem to
shut you out even more?
Well, it's so confusing and FRUSTRATING because
you have the BEST intentions, and yet - he's
pulling away!
And, why shouldn't he appreciate your efforts when
all you're trying to do is be a good person, and
show him some love?
Men Don't Actually Place high Value on Compliments
from a Woman
So, here is WHY.
Unless what you do helps a man feel more
MASCULINE, he doesn't really value it.
And what most women do is they try to compliment a
man, or praise him, and they make it worse for
him, and worse for themselves.
Now let me get ONE thing straight right here:
I am NOT saying that compliments are worth nothing
at all to a man.
After all, if you give a heartfelt compliment that
is genuine, most men will enjoy it.
It's just that, compliments are NICE - but they
don't build attraction. They build Connection.
Compliments don't make him want to step up and be
your hero - and it doesn't make him want to
protect you.
Because, when you compliment him, he doesn't feel
like he IS your hero.
And most of all - it doesn't increase his feelings
of emotional and physical PASSION for you.
I'll tell you why.
Feminine energy grows through compliments.
Masculine energy is not stimulated by compliments
and praise.
Masculine energy grows through challenge.
So unless you want your man to become more
feminine - don't put your focus on COMPLIMENTING
him.
How to Bring out a Man's Masculinity and create
more Attraction
A man's masculinity and the attraction between you
both will not improve through compliments to him.
It'll just make you both more the SAME, and dampen
the attraction, because there is no longer the
opposite energies (masculine and feminine
energies) to cause TENSION and excitement, which
are the drivers of attraction in the first place.
Just watch a football game or a boxing match - and
see the men get more and more intense (more
MASCULINE) when they get booted over or knocked
down.
These challenges make men more and more masculine
- and whilst you and I may sit there, watching a
boxing match, thinking:
"What on earth? This is the most stupid sport
there is! What exactly is the point? You just get
injured!"
After all, boxers just get brain damage, broken
noses....and sometimes they even get their ear
bitten off, right?
I wondered that my entire life. Especially when I
was a little girl.
I even dreamed of campaigning to get rid of boxing
as a sport...even though my best guy friend whom I
grew up with is a champion boxer here in Australia
and now competes in the sport.
Until I learned a little thing or two about men
and their psychology.
That was one of the BIGGEST 'ah-hah' moments of my
life. And one that I am most grateful for.
See, to me? Boxing is pointless.
But to some MEN - depending on what vehicles they
use to feel more masculine, boxing is exciting,
and stimulates the core of who he IS - a masculine
man. Because he is being challenged beyond
anything.
And that includes physically challenged, mentally
challenged - you name it.
So, whilst you and I totally mean well by
complimenting - and this is what we'd do to our
friends and our children, complimenting a man will
NOT support the ATTRACTION and passion in your
relationship.
So, if you compliment a man, he might think it's
'nice', and he might say: 'thanks, that's sweet of
you'....but really, he doesn't perceive much value
in it in a relationship.
And the worse thing is - 99.9% of men will not be
able to articulate to you why compliments make
them want to pull away from the relationship or
reduce their feelings of attraction for you.
It's like if your man bought you a toolbox for
christmas.
How valuable is that to YOU?
It might be nice, but....er, it doesn't make your
heart flutter and it doesn't make you want to jump
on him in excitement, does it?
Ok....so a tool box might be good for some work
around the house - but how does it compare to a
trip to Hawaii, a nice warm, hot bath with rose
petals in it made just for you, a sensual massage,
or a nice dinner at a place you've never been
before?
Or maybe even a puppy or a surprise trip
somewhere?
The level of excitement and fulfillment just
doesn't compare, does it?
See - the more feminine a man is, the more he will
appreciate compliments.
In fact, most gay men LOVE compliments. Sometimes
even more so than women!
Because women are becoming so masculine in today's
society.
But, if you want a strong, masculine man who is
THERE for you and protects you and treats you like
a queen, and you want him to fall in love with
you, and take care of you no matter what - don't
compliment him.
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This is what happens when you compliment a
Masculine man...
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If you compliment him...
He'll just physically lean back, turn away,
literally step back, go silent, or go play golf or
do some work.
I have seen so many women make this mistake IN
PERSON, or even on live television, it makes me
cringe.
Some women might say how gorgeous a man's eyes
are, and how 'sexy' he is - And the man almost
always just goes quiet, starts acting awkward, or
leans away from her, wondering what she's on
about!
Never mind! We all make mistakes.
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What you MUST do instead of Complimenting a Man
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So, having said that, what should you do instead?
No, you don't need to go and challenge him.
There's a much better way.
In a relationship, Appreciating a Man build
Attraction but Compliments DO NOT!
Instead of complimenting a man, he would prefer it
if you indicated that you APPRECIATE him.
So what you need to do is: Give to a man that gift
of FEELING more like a man around YOU and build
attraction instead.
The more he feels you appreciate him and his
results, the more he will begin to feel like a man
around you, and the more attraction you will have
in your relationship.
This is what he will truly find value in, because
it makes him feel like a man.
The more he feels like a man, the more femininity
he will bring out in you, and of course, the more
ATTRACTION will automatically exist between the
both of you!
A strong Feminine Energy Always Attracts a Strong
Masculine Energy.
The good news is, it's not hard at all, now you
have this understanding of men. :)
So instead of complimenting a man, you need to
make him feel like a man by:
1) Appreciating his RESULTS; and
2) Giving him feminine energy
This isn't about saying 'Thank You!' when he does
things for you, although that is a good start.
But if you want to bring out a man's masculinity,
and bring him closer to you, more in love with you
and more adoring of you, you'll need to show him
you appreciate him.
Here are TWO tips for indicating that you
appreciate a man.
To make a man feel appreciated, you can take these
THREE quick steps:
1) One of my favorite things to do is to rub my
man's chest.
And, this seems like such a small thing, but when
you rub his chest or place your hand on his chest,
he is likely to interpret it as a message of
appreciation.
You can do this when you are hugging him, when
you're lying in bed with him, or even when you're
talking to him heart-to-heart.
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Here is how you know you're getting the 'chest
rub' right:
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He will stand up slightly taller, clench his jaw,
or step closer to you to give you more of his
presence.
If he does any of these things - you've just
communicated to him that you appreciate him, and
he felt it.
However, if you're just in the dating stages, this
may not be a move you want to make yet.
Nonetheless, if you choose to do it, make it
heartfelt, and feel his masculinity. Don't just
pat his chest a few times and then walk off
without making any eye contact.
2) whenever you feel like complimenting him,
instead, look for a result he has gotten in his
life.
It could be committing to his job, it could be
committing to going to the gym, t could be
committing to taking care of h