This was not my first trip to New York, but it was certainly one I would never forget. The city seemed different as we drove to the upper east side of Manhattan, I remember thinking we had landed in a strange city by mistake. Everything seemed distinctly odd. There was something different in the air and I seemed to be the only person who could perceive it. We turned on the corner of 63rd street and I recognized the old red brick apartment building. I was filled with warm memories of the holidays and the hot summer days I had spent in that apartment. It was once I was inside her apartment that it hit me like a ton of bricks. She was gone and there was no turning back. It was unbelievable, but true, I would never see her again. Panic rushed through my veins as I realized that it was real, she was dead and there was no coming back.