What's wrong with peer socialization?
The question might sound wrong-headed. Surely we learn social skills by interacting with other people. What could be more natural than letting your preschooler loose in a social world of her own peers?
In fact, part of this reasoning is sound. You do need people to learn people skills. The question is--which people? Preschoolers need to learn self-control, empathy, compassion, patience, social etiquette, and an upbeat, constructive attitude for dealing with social problems.
These lessons can’t be learned through peer contact alone. Preschools are populated with impulsive, socially incompetent little people who are prone to sudden fits of rage or despair. Young children have difficulty controlling their emotions, and they are ignorant of the social niceties. They also have less insight into the minds and emotions of others (Gopnik et al 1999).
Yes, preschoolers can offer each other important social experiences. But their developmental status makes them unreliable social tutors. A child who copies other children may pick up good habits—-but she may also pick up bad ones. And preschool peers do not always provide each other with right kind of feedback.
When a child offers to share his toy with a caring adult, he gets rewarded with gratitude and praise. He also learns that he will eventually get his toy back. When he offers to share with a peer, he may not get rewarded at all. Such experiences can undermine social development by teaching the wrong lessons.
Moreover, it’s hard to see what’s natural about herding together a bunch of children who are all the same age. From the evolutionary, historical, and cross-cultural perspectives, it’s an unusual practice.
- See more at: http://www.parentingscience.com/preschool-stress.html#sthash.ZkIkp7UH.dpuf
What's wrong with peer socialization?The question might sound wrong-headed. Surely we learn social skills by interacting with other people. What could be more natural than letting your preschooler loose in a social world of her own peers?In fact, part of this reasoning is sound. You do need people to learn people skills. The question is--which people? Preschoolers need to learn self-control, empathy, compassion, patience, social etiquette, and an upbeat, constructive attitude for dealing with social problems.These lessons can’t be learned through peer contact alone. Preschools are populated with impulsive, socially incompetent little people who are prone to sudden fits of rage or despair. Young children have difficulty controlling their emotions, and they are ignorant of the social niceties. They also have less insight into the minds and emotions of others (Gopnik et al 1999).Yes, preschoolers can offer each other important social experiences. But their developmental status makes them unreliable social tutors. A child who copies other children may pick up good habits—-but she may also pick up bad ones. And preschool peers do not always provide each other with right kind of feedback.When a child offers to share his toy with a caring adult, he gets rewarded with gratitude and praise. He also learns that he will eventually get his toy back. When he offers to share with a peer, he may not get rewarded at all. Such experiences can undermine social development by teaching the wrong lessons.Moreover, it’s hard to see what’s natural about herding together a bunch of children who are all the same age. From the evolutionary, historical, and cross-cultural perspectives, it’s an unusual practice.- See more at: http://www.parentingscience.com/preschool-stress.html#sthash.ZkIkp7UH.dpuf
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