ะhe first time I was approached by a modelling scout I thought I was being pranked. I had just left school at 15, after being bullied badly for my appearance. I was so tall – I’m now 5ft 11in, and I did most of my growing early – I was overweight, my hair was big and fluffy. My confidence was so low that I took the scout’s card but never even called him.
For so many years I had been told I was ugly, and I believed it. Whenever someone took a camera out I would make sure I was nowhere near it – any pictures taken of me I burned or ripped up.
Until then, I thought models were slender, tall, generally blonde. It seemed a closed market – there weren’t even models of colour, really, aside from Naomi Campbell and Alex Wek. Modelling seemed completely unattainable for me.
Eventually, partially through therapy, I learned to love the way I look; to listen less to what other people thought. So I started investigating “plus size” modelling, discovered models like Sophie Dahl and Crystal Renn and entered a modelling competition for a brand called Curvity. I won – it was a wonderful, validating experience, and my career started to take off.
Where are all the plus-size male models?
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A couple of years later I was approached again – and once more I didn’t have the self-assurance to pursue it. What was interesting, this time, is that the scout asked if I had thought of becoming a “plus sized” model – a term I had never even heard before.I work exclusively for plus size brands. I’ve worked for dream clients, like Monif C, a designer that makes funky, fashion forward plus sized clothes – something else I hadn’t really known existed before – and I do a lot of lingerie and swimwear. In my personal life, too, I tend to wear form-fitting clothes; I have become very comfortable with my body.
As a UK size 18-20 – and, when modelling, a size 22 – I’m at the larger end of the plus-size spectrum. In the fashion world, plus-size officially starts at a UK size 10, even though consumers would probably not consider themselves plus size until at least a UK size 16. It’s very common for e-commerce brands to use size 12 models to showcase ranges that don’t even start until a size 18, and then pin the clothes to their bodies.
I don’t have an agent – I represent myself at the moment. A lot of models my size work independently, given that the plus-size models who get the most work at a mainstream agency are a UK size 12 or 14. I did try to approach mainstream modelling agencies once, and I was mainly told – rightly – that my portfolio needed work, although one agency told me that I was simply too large. Recently, a mainstream agency signed a larger model, so boundaries are being broken, and I’ve been getting so busy that soon I will try again.There are some who object to the term plus size, but I am happy to be working for this market. I understand that I fit a certain specification. It’s a bit unrealistic to expect the big catwalk brands to regularly use plus size models given that they don’t sell plus size clothes. But I do wish fashion was more diverse; there are always makeup and accessories campaigns and other areas I would love to see plus size models appear. As well as size, the industry is still racist – you look at the books of any model agency and the proportion of models of colour is nowhere near representative.Fashion has always seemed like a closed shop, which is why Plus Size fashion week, where I will be appearing on the catwalk this weekend, is so fantastic. For years, anything marketed towards plus size women was very secret – just a couple of oversized tunics in dowdy colours, hidden away at the back of a shop – and this is quite the opposite. But this is two days of shopping and catwalk shows for larger women; hundreds of people fly in from all over the world to be there, and they all make such an effort and look amazing when they do. There are talks about body confidence and styling; it is brilliant – and rare – to be in a room full of larger women full of excitement and positivity about fashion when shopping is still such a mission for us.It’s also a safe space, away from the fat-shaming and trolling online. I’ve been lucky, and haven’t got anywhere near as much of it as some of my friends, but it does happen. Often the first thing they say is that fat people are not healthy – but you cannot determine a person’s health just by looking at them. I am fat, I don’t have a problem with term, but I exercise and eat well and am happy and healthy. That shouldn’t offend other people.
For me, models of all sizes do a fantastic jobs – and just as I get trolled for being large, slender girls get trolled for being too slim. You can’t please everybody. And now, finally, I’m not trying to.