I woke up feeling refreshed and happy, It was strange. For the first time in a really long time, I was actually happy again. 'A couple of months has passed since Tsumugu said he would never leave me alone, and after that he has never spoken about the time when he held me in a long embrace. He is probably just shy''.
I jumped out of the bed, brushed my hair and put on my nightrobe.
'I can't wait to see Tsumugu'. Living with Tsumugu has made me realize that I really love him. But I could never tell him that... after all ´Manaka loves Tsumugu'.
I can't be selfish. By loving Tsumugu I would be betraying everyone. So now matter what he can't find out 'I have to be strong'.
I walked downstairs but stopped halfway down the stairs.
''eh?'' ''What's going on?''
'' Ah, Chisaki. Goodmorning'' Tsumugu said, acting as casual as always.
'' Goodmorning. What's going on?,what's with all the luggage?''
'' Well, I forgot to mention but the college sent me a letter last week saying that it starts one week earlier then predicted, So I have to leave tomorrow morning.''
''eh?'' 'oh no. I felt the tears swelling up in my eyes and a familiar pain in my chest, this isn't good. If Tsumugu sees me like this...''
'' Chisaki? Are you okay?''
'' I'm fine'' I answered and put on my fake smile. 'I can't let him know, no matter what I can't tell him my feelings. Atleast not while everyone else from Shioshishio are still sleeping. I just have to bear with it.'
'' Ah! Tsumugu I'm heading out to Saya mart. I'll cook your favorite for dinner. Since it's your last day here, I'll be back soon okay?'' I dashed forward and just as I opened the door I felt warm tears running down my face. I started running fast. ' I can't let him know no matter what.', ' but didn't he say that he would never leave me alone?'
A few moments later I arrived at Saya mart. Akari-san was working.
'' Chisaki! Good morning!''
'' Good morning..''
'' Eh? Chisaki is something wrong? Your eyes are swollen?''
'' I'm fine''
'' I heard Tsumugu is leaving for college today, huh you're all growing up way too fast.''
'eh Akari-san knew? About Tsumugu leaving but not me' '' Akari-san, when did you find about Tsumugu leaving?''
'' uhm it was probably last week, Why do you ask?''
'' Eh? Well no reason'' I said and put on my fake smile.
''Well you will probably get lonely being all alone in that big house. So you can come over anytime you want, I'm sure Akira and Miuna would be happy to see you.''
'' Yes, Thank you. Well I'll see you later! Bye''
'I can't believe Akari-san knew but not me,why didn't Tsumugu tell me?' I looked out at the ocean.
'I'm being left alone again. It's like the sea doesn't want me to have anyone that I love close to me'.
'' Sea god. Why are you taking everyone away from me? Haven't you already taken enough?'' I whispered to myself. I stood there for a while smelling the saltwater, feeling the cold air linger through my hair.
'' The wind sure is strong today huh?''
I looked around. It was our neighbor Takatou-san.
'' Ah, Yes it sure is'' I said nicely and smiled.
'' So Chisaki-chan when is Tsumugu-kun leaving? Wasn't it today or was it tomorrow?''
''eh?'' My mind went blank
'' We're sure going to miss him, that boy is always so nice, helping us repair out boat or hail our nets for us when we can't, well make sure to tell him that I wish him all the luc- Wait Chisaki-chan we're you going?''
I couldn't stand it any longer. I ran away. ' why did everyone know except for me? Why didn't he tell me? And here I thought that he had some feelings for me too.'
I ran as fast as I could and when I arrived home Tsumugu was standing in the doorstep.
'' Tsumugu. I'm home''
'' welcome back, you sure took your time. Is everything okay?''
at that moment I don't know what went over me. I lost it.
* bang!* the bag from Saya mart fell on the floor.
'' No! No i'm not okay! Why! Tsumugu why did you tell everyone you were leaving! And why was I the last person to know! Even though you said you weren't going to leave me alone''
'' Chisaki calm down!''
I took one stop forward but stumbled on the bag that was lying on the floor.
'' No I won'- '' Kyaah'' * *
I fell on top of Tsumugu. I just laid there on top of him. I didn't dare to move,I stared at him for a long time, and my tears started running down and landing on his face. ' this is bad. I can't stop crying.'
He looked into my eyes.
'' I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to have to worry about it, and I didn't want you to cry.
And I didn't tell anyone else about me leaving. Kiri-san that lives near the school is going to the same college as me and she was the one who told everyone so that's why they knew. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, It's hard for me too you know? I don't want you to be alone.''
He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer into a warm embrace.
'' I wanted us to enjoy the time we had instead of just thinking about me leaving. I'm sorry that I made you sad Chisaki, So please stop crying?''
My heart was racing and my cheeks were flustered.
'' Idiot. You should've told me. But I forgive you'' I said and put on my brightest smile as possible. Unlike the other one this was real. ' But I still can't tell him how I feel, even though he may find someone else at college, I can never let him know how I feel'.
Later that day I prepared his favorite dinner and we sat down together and ate and talked about the old days, When Hikari,Kaname and Manaka were still here. We talked about that time when we all went to the city together. It was so much fun.
Later on we feel asleep in the same bed. For the last time in a long time I would sleep with Tsumugu beside me holding me. Tsumugu fell asleep fast but I still couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he was leaving.
'' Tsumugu? Are you asleep'' I whispered.
I got no respond.
'' I have to tell you something, but I could never tell it to your face when you were awake. So for now I guess this will have to do.''
'' I love you'' I felt like a weight has been lifted of from me when I said those words.
' Even though I told it to him while he was asleep it felt nice to get my feelings out. Because now it's easier for me to lock them deep inside'.
And with that I was almost asleep when I heard Tsumugu saying.
'' I hope everyone wake up soon , so that we can be together and move on''
But when I turned around to see if he was awake he was in a deep sleep.
' I guess it was just a dream then.'
I woke up feeling refreshed and happy, It was strange. For the first time in a really long time, I was actually happy again. 'A couple of months has passed since Tsumugu said he would never leave me alone, and after that he has never spoken about the time when he held me in a long embrace. He is probably just shy''.
I jumped out of the bed, brushed my hair and put on my nightrobe.
'I can't wait to see Tsumugu'. Living with Tsumugu has made me realize that I really love him. But I could never tell him that... after all ´Manaka loves Tsumugu'.
I can't be selfish. By loving Tsumugu I would be betraying everyone. So now matter what he can't find out 'I have to be strong'.
I walked downstairs but stopped halfway down the stairs.
''eh?'' ''What's going on?''
'' Ah, Chisaki. Goodmorning'' Tsumugu said, acting as casual as always.
'' Goodmorning. What's going on?,what's with all the luggage?''
'' Well, I forgot to mention but the college sent me a letter last week saying that it starts one week earlier then predicted, So I have to leave tomorrow morning.''
''eh?'' 'oh no. I felt the tears swelling up in my eyes and a familiar pain in my chest, this isn't good. If Tsumugu sees me like this...''
'' Chisaki? Are you okay?''
'' I'm fine'' I answered and put on my fake smile. 'I can't let him know, no matter what I can't tell him my feelings. Atleast not while everyone else from Shioshishio are still sleeping. I just have to bear with it.'
'' Ah! Tsumugu I'm heading out to Saya mart. I'll cook your favorite for dinner. Since it's your last day here, I'll be back soon okay?'' I dashed forward and just as I opened the door I felt warm tears running down my face. I started running fast. ' I can't let him know no matter what.', ' but didn't he say that he would never leave me alone?'
A few moments later I arrived at Saya mart. Akari-san was working.
'' Chisaki! Good morning!''
'' Good morning..''
'' Eh? Chisaki is something wrong? Your eyes are swollen?''
'' I'm fine''
'' I heard Tsumugu is leaving for college today, huh you're all growing up way too fast.''
'eh Akari-san knew? About Tsumugu leaving but not me' '' Akari-san, when did you find about Tsumugu leaving?''
'' uhm it was probably last week, Why do you ask?''
'' Eh? Well no reason'' I said and put on my fake smile.
''Well you will probably get lonely being all alone in that big house. So you can come over anytime you want, I'm sure Akira and Miuna would be happy to see you.''
'' Yes, Thank you. Well I'll see you later! Bye''
'I can't believe Akari-san knew but not me,why didn't Tsumugu tell me?' I looked out at the ocean.
'I'm being left alone again. It's like the sea doesn't want me to have anyone that I love close to me'.
'' Sea god. Why are you taking everyone away from me? Haven't you already taken enough?'' I whispered to myself. I stood there for a while smelling the saltwater, feeling the cold air linger through my hair.
'' The wind sure is strong today huh?''
I looked around. It was our neighbor Takatou-san.
'' Ah, Yes it sure is'' I said nicely and smiled.
'' So Chisaki-chan when is Tsumugu-kun leaving? Wasn't it today or was it tomorrow?''
''eh?'' My mind went blank
'' We're sure going to miss him, that boy is always so nice, helping us repair out boat or hail our nets for us when we can't, well make sure to tell him that I wish him all the luc- Wait Chisaki-chan we're you going?''
I couldn't stand it any longer. I ran away. ' why did everyone know except for me? Why didn't he tell me? And here I thought that he had some feelings for me too.'
I ran as fast as I could and when I arrived home Tsumugu was standing in the doorstep.
'' Tsumugu. I'm home''
'' welcome back, you sure took your time. Is everything okay?''
at that moment I don't know what went over me. I lost it.
* bang!* the bag from Saya mart fell on the floor.
'' No! No i'm not okay! Why! Tsumugu why did you tell everyone you were leaving! And why was I the last person to know! Even though you said you weren't going to leave me alone''
'' Chisaki calm down!''
I took one stop forward but stumbled on the bag that was lying on the floor.
'' No I won'- '' Kyaah'' * *
I fell on top of Tsumugu. I just laid there on top of him. I didn't dare to move,I stared at him for a long time, and my tears started running down and landing on his face. ' this is bad. I can't stop crying.'
He looked into my eyes.
'' I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to have to worry about it, and I didn't want you to cry.
And I didn't tell anyone else about me leaving. Kiri-san that lives near the school is going to the same college as me and she was the one who told everyone so that's why they knew. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, It's hard for me too you know? I don't want you to be alone.''
He grabbed my waist and pulled me closer into a warm embrace.
'' I wanted us to enjoy the time we had instead of just thinking about me leaving. I'm sorry that I made you sad Chisaki, So please stop crying?''
My heart was racing and my cheeks were flustered.
'' Idiot. You should've told me. But I forgive you'' I said and put on my brightest smile as possible. Unlike the other one this was real. ' But I still can't tell him how I feel, even though he may find someone else at college, I can never let him know how I feel'.
Later that day I prepared his favorite dinner and we sat down together and ate and talked about the old days, When Hikari,Kaname and Manaka were still here. We talked about that time when we all went to the city together. It was so much fun.
Later on we feel asleep in the same bed. For the last time in a long time I would sleep with Tsumugu beside me holding me. Tsumugu fell asleep fast but I still couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he was leaving.
'' Tsumugu? Are you asleep'' I whispered.
I got no respond.
'' I have to tell you something, but I could never tell it to your face when you were awake. So for now I guess this will have to do.''
'' I love you'' I felt like a weight has been lifted of from me when I said those words.
' Even though I told it to him while he was asleep it felt nice to get my feelings out. Because now it's easier for me to lock them deep inside'.
And with that I was almost asleep when I heard Tsumugu saying.
'' I hope everyone wake up soon , so that we can be together and move on''
But when I turned around to see if he was awake he was in a deep sleep.
' I guess it was just a dream then.'
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