I am a man , and I can not hide my feelings . You may have been disturb in relationship before , but I want to be in your arms my love for your undiluted love to open for me.i know you will find it vary hard ,but please do not ignore my feeling . I need you next to me . I need to see your light on my path . I need you to forget bad memories in my heart . I know that if it is God 's desire , I 'll be with you for rest of my life as my life .but if you are not for me , then I have no other choice than just to be your weekend and holidays friend.i will not disappoint you and I will make you happy with the woman of the living. Please do not worry much if you do not get me e mail on time.it is because of the work I am doing here , and I will alway email when I come back to our base . I made a covenant with my God that I will not die at war in foreign country. I have been in army for 24 years now and I have been accustomed , I have not killed innocent souls and for which I know I do Thank God that my retirement is very close, so I have peace and live a private life again.