Today, Roxy is just holding her knees while looking into the fire.
I sit next to her as usual.
There are a lot of things I could say to cheer her up, but they are all hackneyed irresponsible things.
I cannot bring myself to say them.
Well, the person saying those kind of things might be trying to comfort Roxy, but...
"Certainly..."
She opened her mouth and whispered.
"Back then, I did sigh."
Roxy won't look at me.
However, she's talking to me.
As if making a confession, she continued to speak.
"One day Pax mastered intermediate magic.
He came to show me with great excitement and all I did was sigh.
I might have even said, 'Only to this degree' under my breath."
"It really hurt him, I guess."
When I said that Roxy clutched the end of my robe.
"I think that, honestly, when I was teaching Prince Pax, I was only comparing him to Rudy.
When there was a problem Rudy, you, would immediately understand; Rudy learns magic so easily.
And then I moved directly to this child who was far below Rudy.
So, I might have been condescending."
I did quickly learn up to intermediate magic.
Roxy also probably learned it without difficulty.
But that doesn't mean that everyone else can learn it so easily.
Surely, Pax was giving it his best.
He made his best effort, studied, practiced, and finally learned it.
Then he wanted to show off to Roxy and be complimented, but only received a sigh.
Back when I was in Buena Village, if such a thing would have happened to me...
I would not have come to respect Roxy, and we might not have married.
"In those days I only looked towards the top.
I was thinking about learning King ranked magic and then aiming for further heights.
Perhaps it was arrogance.
It was enough to lead me to neglect the people under me"
Biting her lower lip, Roxy tightly hugged her knees.
I stroked her back.
Roxy was trembling slightly.
"I intended to repent.
After failing I would study well for the next time."
In that instant, tears swelled up in Roxy's eyes.
"But, I regret it, I failed.
Although I had vaguely thought about what I might have done wrong as a teacher,
I mostly just blamed the environment of the royal place; I had to justify myself."
Tears spill from Roxy's eyes.
"I didn't realize that my attitude had such an effect on Prince Pax.
Until the other day, when he told me from his own mouth, I hadn't even a clue."
She buried her face in her knees to catch all of the tears which were endlessly flowing down her face.
I stroked her small back in a circular fashion.
"For Prince Pax, there won't be a next time... "
Roxy simply cried.
I continued to stroke her back.
I had been doing so for a while.
However, I kept stroking her trembling back as she sobbed.
Eventually, Roxy's sobbing stopped.
She looked up at me with engorged bright red eyes.
"Rudy, now, how can I continue to be a teacher?"
" .... "
What should I say to that?
I don't know.
I'm not a teacher.
However there are words that I have heard in the past.
"Sensei"
These may be superficial words which I stole from a game or manga.
It's something said under pretense.
It may be no more then comfort.
I might just be cheating.
"Sensei, even if you fail, experience will still pile up."
I do not think it is wrong to just pay lip service.
"Assuming the teacher does not repeat the same mistakes, the students of the teacher will be brought up magnificently and find happiness like me."
"...."