I have a few basic ideas about the relationship between man and woman that are rooted in biology. Somewhat like page 7 and 8 of this pdf: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/pdf/HNHN-ch1.pdf I was a therapist and did some marriage consoling for a few years. I saw many people, but most of the problems were the same. When you look at the "his needs/her needs," which are most important to you?
I like your head vs heart quote. At the same time, maybe its not just one or the other, and we can be guided by our hearts but supported by our minds. I do use my heart more than my head. To love and be loved seems like the most fulfilling goal to me.