I closed the diary with a bang.
It's painful to read. I don't want to read it anymore. Did I really have no choice but to read this? Why did I read such a thing?
"Ueh..."
I feel sick. I'm sure this is just a story that the old man came up with in his delusions. I don't want to think that this kind of future is possible.
"..."
But I have to read it. Knowledge will surely be power.
So I look at the diary... But I don't have the courage to open it. I feel sick. I wonder what other suffering is written in that diary. When I think about it, I start to feel nauseous.
"I'll take a little break..."
I got out of my chair and headed to the toilet.
I threw up. Tears came out. It might be because it was my own handwriting, but I was able to imagine what I was feeling at the time.
The sadness when Roxy died.
The anxiety and hopelessness when Sylphy left.
The feelings when he chased after them.
Then the feeling of loss when he saw the dead Sylphy.
"Oeee..."
With my face buried in the toilet, I just threw up. My stomach is completely empty, but I have no appetite. I'll probably be fine eating nothing today.
When I was rinsing out my mouth with water magic, I found that Sylphy was standing there worriedly.
"R-, Rudi. What's wrong? Are you okay?"
With white hair down to her shoulders, she was wearing casual wear, and felt a little unguarded.
With a wound down her face, missing an arm, killed, cold, and exposed to the public... Such a scene came to mind.
"Wah-, what?"
I embraced Sylphy without a word. Sylphy's body was soft, and warm.
"Rudi, were you that influenced by the fight with Atofe?"
"...Mn"
"Guess it can't be helped, huh... There, there. Whenever it gets tough, I'll be there to comfort you, okay? I know that you're not that strong after all, Rudi."
Whilst tiptoeing a little, Sylphy pat me on the back.
[Whenever it gets tough, I'll be there to comfort you, okay?]
The Future Me ignored these words.
"Mn. Sorry, Sylphy."
"It's fine."
"In the future when things get tough, I might not depend on you, or do or say bad things."
"Ehh..."
"But please don't leave me."
"Umm... If that happens, I might get a little irritated at you, treat you coldly, and fight with you... But we can make up, right?"
"Yeah. Of course we can. Mn, we can make up..."
Sylphy really is gentle. I'll betray this gentle girl.
"Um, Rudi. The way your hands are touching my butt is kind of perverted."
"...Do you not want me to touch you?"
"Well I don't lose anything, so it's fine but... Wah-"
Since I got permission, I picked Sylphy up. I headed to the bedroom. I'm not particularly thinking of doing anything perverted. I was just thinking of flirting together with her like this.
How do I say this? Is it a bit like regaining something I've lost? I don't really get it. Because of reading that diary, I've become sentimental.
While thinking such things, I heal myself with Sylphy.