Finding empathy for those who have hurt us is a wonderful — and admittedly challenging — practice. In his book, Open Heart, Open Mind, Buddhist teacher Tsoknyi Rinpoche writes about “empathy meditations," in which you imagine another person’s experience fully to understand their suffering. In furtherance of my quest to forgive my ex-husband, I embarked upon this meditative practice.
In the beginning, I was loath to extend compassion to him. After all, I was the one who had been harmed! So, I resolved to meditate in this manner for two minutes a day. But, with each session, my time meditating (and tolerance) grew.
When I allowed myself to feel his struggles, the anger dissipated. I realized that those who hurt are usually hurting. Before I knew it, I was ready to extend the olive branch.