Don’t advertise Nearly Departed’s room on Airbnb until they have actually left. This will only spark antagonism. You won’t be allowed to forget in years to come that you “shoved” them out of their home/nest in order to earn a fast buck on the back of their university debt. But when they do leave and you have blasted through the quarry of rubble left behind, you can take joy in rediscovering the carpet, fire-hosing the walls, chiselling off nail varnish from the mirror, rescuing dust bunnies and setting them free, and unearthing a whole set of forgotten crockery from under the bed.
When ND is well and truly ensconced in their digs, you can rent out the room as a holiday let or to a local student who you can boot out if they threaten to reinstate any of the above.
Give yourself a well-earned break. But don’t frame it like that. ND will respond as if you have been trying to get rid of them for years. Of course you loved having them, serving them, doting on them, saving them, nursing them, feeding them, “encouraging” homework, wiping tears, bottoms, muddy footprints. It’s just that after two decades of all that it’s fair to say you could do with a bit of a holiday/darkened room with fizz on tap.
Rent out their room and get the best break you can muster.
Get technical support. Take lessons from ND on the basics before they leave, on how to use Apple TV/find your music and films which they installed somewhere on iCloud after selling all your CDs/DVDs to fund their gap year. Then find yourself a friendly local IT expert (or rent out the spare room to an IT student).
Dance as if no one is watching. Because now no one is watching from behind their fingers yelling “Gross, stop, you’re so embarrassing!” Now you can move your groove to any music, throw any shapes, shimmy naked if you want …
You no longer have to live in a catchment area and the phrases league tables, Sats and exam results need pass your lips no more.