I believe that the “cohabitation effect” has little to do with being able to live together before marriage. If someone is not satisfied with their marriage, how do we know it is because they lived together prior to their wedding? I believe that cohabitation can be very beneficial to anyone who is looking to get into a more serious commitment. If you do not live together before tying the knot, how do you really know how the person acts and behaves? Maybe you don’t want to live with someone who is a complete slob or someone who doesn’t like having friends over? When two people live together, certain responsibilities and commitments must be issued that a simple relationship cannot give you.
If I ever were to get married, I would definitely live with my husband beforehand. Living in the same house and sharing certain responsibilities really brings out the true person. It would let me know if we are really compatible with each other. Do we agree on simple things such as cooking, decorations or even what kind of television programs we want to watch? These may seem like petty decisions, but in the grand scheme of things, they can tell me if I am going to get into continuous, pointless fights with my significant other or not.
Before moving in with one another, you should consider discussing certain barriers and responsibilities about the house. Who is going to move into whose house? How will this affect each other’s careers? But most importantly, how long do you expect this relationship to last? If this isn’t someone you plan on living with your whole life, maybe it isn’t the best idea to be sharing a house.
Even people who live with each other for a long time then get married find it different because marriage brings along a sense of “confinement” and “burden”. People begin to believe that once they are married, there is no turning back. Before, there was always a way out but now, they have the weight of a signed piece of paper legalizing their obligations to each other.
As for my own personal life, I’m obviously not married, but neiher are my parents. My parents have been living happily together for over 18 years now and they have never gotten married. They believe that they can live a peaceful and happy life without marriage. This sort of refutes the cohabitation effect because my parents found that, by living together, they were content with simply living alongside one another.