Do: Gently “check in” with the woman,
inquiring about how she’s feeling (not only
physically, but emotionally). Ask her if she’d
like to speak to someone about her feelings,
and try to normalize this for her (sometimes
a woman might refuse because she feels a
stigma for talking to a counselor). A woman
can benefi t from verbalizing her thoughts,
feelings and experiences about the trauma
but only if she feels safe in doing so.
Avoid: Saying things, such as “Cheer up!”
“Put on a happy face!” or “You should be
glad or grateful that you survived/your baby
survived or is healthy/that the bad part is
over.” Also, don’t give empty reassurance,
such as “This is so rare—it won’t happen
if you decide to have another baby in the
future.” These only minimize the patient’s
feelings, and could shame her into staying
silent about her inner experiences.