4. Show More Of Yourself
Whether you’re giving a keynote speech or chatting up a seatmate at your next networking event, try an exercise designed to help you connect. “Think to yourself, ‘What are some unexpected things going on in my life that are appropriate to share?’ ” says Nowak. “ For example, I’ll go to a dinner with big Fortune 500 companies, and they’ll hear about my chanting practice and my meditation.”
In fact, the two biggest liabilities when it comes to unleashing charisma are not being curious about the person you’re speaking to—and not sharing enough about yourself. “A lot of people will play journalist and not put themselves out there,” says Nowak, noting that they’re more comfortable asking the questions. “But the best connections happen when I am curious about the other person.”
So what does putting yourself out there more look like? Well, it depends on you. “When I coach someone to improve their sense of presence, there’s a phrase I sometimes throw out: Show me 20 percent more of you. And I intentionally don’t quantify it more. You might say, “Well, what does that mean?” The answer is usually maybe more passion or maybe more enthusiasm.
When it comes down to it, charisma comes from authenticity, notes Nowak, and we do ourselves a disservice by not showing up as our whole selves. “A lot of us have so much hidden inside that we don’t reveal,” he says.