It's my first day of the 6th grade. I don't know where to sit. I just moved to town last week, and I've spent every day since either reading in my hammock or jerking off, which I just learned to do. And I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who knows how to perform this awesome trick. You just pull your wiener till it's hard and suddenly it's a c**k. And I know everyone in Bio class is looking at me, because who else is 6'3" when they're 12 years old? I smell like sweat. I smell like a gerbil, as I sit down and try hard to make eye contact with Shelby Carruthers.
Hey! I like your pen. Did you get it at the mall? It's not a regular pen, right?
She got up and moved 5 chairs down and didn't talk to me again for 5 years, until junior year. When I f***ed her on the strip of lawn between the liquor store, and the dog salon. And the whole time, I was seeing that pen. It's pink, fuzzy end moving through the air.
That'll teach you. That'll teach you. That'll teach you. That'll teach you.
I haven't figured the rest of that bit out yet, Gavin, so we can skip to the canoe part.