The differences in ways that men and women communicate have been the subject of countless books, magazine articles, talk show discussions, and jokes. These differences can sometimes make men and women seem mysterious to each other, and can occasionally make communication difficult and confusing. People often jokingly say that men and women are from different planets or that they are different species. But just what are these communication differences and what is their cause?
One basic reason and women have such different ways of communicating is that they see the purpose of communication differently. Research shows that women use communication as a way of growing closer to people and establishing intimate relationships. Women tend to use language to share thoughts and feelings, and to be supportive. Meanwhile, men tend to see the goal of communication as accomplishing a task. Men most often use language to persuade, argue, convey and demonstrate knowledge.
Although men do not tend to use communication to achieve closeness, they have their own way of bonding. In one study, 75 percent of the men surveyed said that their most meaningful experiences with friends came not through talking, but through shared activities. In a related study, researchers found that fathers tend to show affection to sons by helping them with tasks and challenges. Javier Morales's experiences certainly support this idea. Says Morales, "MY dad and i are really close, but i wouldn't say we talk very much. We spend a lot of time together doing things. We spent all of last Saturday repairing my car, and this weekend we're going hiking together. My dad i have a deep bond. Just because we're not talking doesn't mean we're not sharing important time together.