Matilda’s Horned Viper is one the few new snakes discovered in Africa (Tanzania in this case) in the last 30 years, which is weird considering that it totally looks like a cartoon character.
The yellow-green-black slithering bastard with two horns protruding from its head can grow up to 65 centimeters or bigger, and is believed to be venomous. Considering that it resembles a pet which Satan would keep in a locked, underwater safe, I’d say that’s a pretty accurate guess by the researchers who’ve discovered it, though there are many ways to make absolutely sure. Did you know that homeless people are REALLY desperate for cash?
Scientists do claim that the snake is very calm and not at all aggressive. This calms me down none; it simply proves that it this thing is both murderous AND crafty.
But the weirdest part of this newly discovered animal is that it’s been named…after a 7-year-old girl named Matilda. No, thankfully the girl wasn’t its first documented victim, but rather the daughter of one of the researchers who discovered the snake. I’d say that naming a scaly, slimy, horny snake after a small girl isn’t really the best idea, but hey, the guy’s already named his daughter “Matilda.” Not like he was parent of the year material anyway.