When you ask serious questions you have to see other persons eyes. Eyes tell if the answer is true or not or almost true.
When you visit me next spring... I will get all the answers I need. Then I make final desicion. Not before.
What I ask you now is irrelevant. You can answer anything. Just like I can. I am not saying you are. I am not saying I am.
All I care about now is that you are there and I can write to you every day. Of course there is many things I would like to do for you but cannot.