Hi there.. I feel the weight on my shoulder. I think it's time to share the story. Please hide my profile.
Unlike other victims, my mum is a very caring person and she never leave me to anyone. Other than my grandparents of course. No uncles, no cousins. The demon was my dad..
I was 6 years old when it first happened. I came from a poor family and we can't even afford to buy a fan. Sometimes it'll get too panas at night. How I wish I could tahan a little and didn't tell my dad I felt too hot.
"Panas? Buka seluar kalau panas"
For a 6 years old kid, that sounded harmless. But I didn't take off my pants, he did! He put me on top of him and positioned me to hmmm his "comfortable" spot. My mum woke up juuuust in time. Thank God! There were a big argument after that that night. I can't remember what they talked about. I felt confused and all I did was crying.
The next day, my mum brought me to town. She wanted to talk it out.
"Was it hurt" she asked.
"No." I said.
She hugged me. She cried.
That's the only event she knew. It happened again twice. He tried. And he failed. The last time he tried was when I was 15 years old. He asked me to open my room's door saying he wanted to take something. But I knew what he wanted to do.I just had my bath. I didnt open the door.
How did it affect me? It's torturing me. If I tell my mum, I knew she'll feel hurt and cry again. So I kept it to myself.
I wanted to go as far as possible from home. How can I stay in the same roof with a monster? Form 1, I applied to stay in my school's hostel. Succeed. Applied for matriculation. Succeed. Applied for university. Succeed. I did those to stay away from home. But in all those years of separation, I've always missed my mum. She's the reason why I still can stand strong and go through shit.
I was 26 years old when I finally told my mum about my dad's evil attempts. She thought my dad menyesal on that first event. My mum cried again. I told her not to. He is forgiven I said.
I can see my dad's regret. And I can see that he couldn't forgive himself for what he did. He killed her daughter. He killed my childhood. He killed my youth. He killed a father-daughter relationship. But that's between him and God. I'm done hating..