I don't feel I can be saved for I live in the choices that break me everyday ... When the sun sits at 12 and the sun is at half rotation ...is when I feel hole as one with soul I stand still no chasen ... for a min there is no battle ..compete I ride as not herded as mass of cattle ... Each day a minute I save as hole just to feel like as a woman my tears are felt with soul .. minute ... ticks .. Me and my shadow become one .. As 12.00 is over and light felt incomplete just becomes a sun ..my shadows begins to create a likeness of me ...in that minute even my soul from body is quick to flee .. I begin to divide and break .. The universe with each breath I become more fake ... it takes myself into shadow from body and I'm left with a mans sin .. And there child bore from my womb is all to them next of kin ..left standing is a body a shell walking as dead in the living ... When all I wanted was to be seen as a heart so giving ..my soul my shadow following in silents untouchable just there... Begging hand to knees for just one person to truly care ... an existence of what I only dreamt I could be .. Sad in person body and heart .. Locked from soul and there is no key ... Drained in my eyes that are open but distant to all I see .. I am me and me I now chase .. As I am still as woman drop Floor to knee .. As the men in my hopeless love have left me ....distant now a shadow of what I could be ..through light, shadow ,soul and body is all incomplete but as I write theses words I guess this written is me in true defeat