Am I married? NO
Am I single? Yes
Was I married? Yes
Am I divorced? Yes
How long? About 4 months
Do I have a girlfriend? Complicated
Did I have a mistress? Never
Can I see your divorce paper? Yes, next week
Why did you divorce? She had an affair
Have I ever had an affair? No
Why no mistress? Because I believe in true love honesty and faithfulness to one woman.
Why am I saying all this? Any potential girlfriend I had, have or will have are not second wife and not a mistress