Hi Anna,
Thank you for your long message that describes your feelings.
.
I also do not like to lie and life is too short to play.
I have three children. My 2 boys are currently far and have a job. As for my daughter, she will start work next year.
I could have a happy life which is not currently the case.
In your eyes I feel you are missing something. I hope that soon all your wishes will come true.
Where do you live exactly as Phetchaburi is a province of Thailand.
How good is your English?
Hope to read message from you next.
Phil