It’s not right, it’s not wrong, it’s just different
The way that your host family decides to raise their children may not be the way you were raised, but that does not make one wrong and one right.
You may find American parents to be too cautious or too casual, too attentive or not attentive enough, too strict or not strict enough. The truth is, they will probably be all of these things. They are parents, they are learning all the time, as you are. As their au pair, try to be as agreeable as possible. Keep in mind that you can always communicate your questions, concerns and misunderstandings. Your host parents will appreciate your questions. As their au pair, we hope that you can learn to appreciate and understand and actively participate in raising “your” American children.
It’s easy to generalize and think this is the “American style” of parenting, when in fact as an au pair you only get a glimpse, you will only see one of many American families. As you explore the different ideas about raising children in your host family, remember that as an au pair you are in a special situation. You will be experiencing life with children in a new way. Back in your home country you might have babysat for a couple of hours or you volunteered in a daycare. You might think that the children back home “never behaved that way”. Being an au pair and working with kids the whole day is different than spending shorter amounts of time with them in a setting outside of their home. Remember that children behave differently based on the situation and you might only have seen their good sides.
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Generally, American parents would like to raise their children to become:
capable of independent thought and action,
self-reliant, self-confident and self-controlled individuals,
kind, respectful and mindful of others,
creative and happy,
children that make good choices in life and show responsible behavior.
It is your role as an au pair to support your host parents in raising their kids, supporting their development and enforcing their rules.
Be open-minded and appreciate the differences. Don’t be quick to judge. Remember: it’s not right, it’s not wrong, it’s just different.