Lesson 3: Provide effective feedback
Feedback flows in all directions (3.15)
"Think about it sideways, up ways, diagonally…"
Feedback has to flow in all directions—manager to team member, team member to manager, and peer to peer. In this video, Michiel shares advice on sharing feedback with your boss, your peers, and even your clients.
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MICHIEL KRUYT: So we spoke about feedback and how to do it. Now there's another question that is, when do you use feedback? We often think top down, but think about it very differently. Think about it sideways, upways, diagonally, with your wife, with your kids.
Feedback plays in all your life. Make it a habit. It's the most powerful effectiveness tool that you can use. I really started to become a feedback ninja. I use it all the time. And I would love for you to start doing that as well. So you can use it in the more traditional way, as a manager, with your people. But effective teams do it across the line.
And you can do it upwards, giving feedback to your boss. And I even give feedback to my clients. I had this very interesting experience a while ago where we were doing a really big project with the client. And at some point, they brought in another consultant.
And I felt really hurt about it, not because they brought another consultant, but because I didn't have the discussion with my client. So I actually called him and I said, hey, I would love to have a conversation with you, because I felt we had a different relationship than me being surprised by you bringing in another consultant.
So I had the feedback conversation with him and actually discovered that he felt that I didn't spend enough time with them, and that I didn't make them important enough. So it was a really good conversation to just clear the air, and from my perspective actually get the trust level back. And I think for the client as well, that at least I understood there was something I did that actually caused the other consultant to come in.
Giving feedback to your clients actually helps to create a stronger relationship than there was before. And they really appreciated it. Now in effective organizations and effective teams and cultures, people actually make it a habit to give feedback so it doesn't become a loaded thing. But still, people find it difficult to give upward feedback.
The best thing to do is actually to have these conversations without the feedback being there. So you talk about it and you as a leader actually give the license for your people to do it. And be very clear that when they give it to you, you're actually in a learning mode. So you're actually really trying to deeply understand what they're trying to say to you.
Because if you don't get the feedback from your people as a leader, you basically create a huge learning disability for yourself. And you might think you're an effective leader, but you actually are not sure because you don't get the feedback. So create an environment where people can actually give feedback to you.
BOB MCDONALD: I believe that feedback should be cherished, not reluctantly received. And as leaders, we always have to be cognizant of that. I used to describe to some of the people who worked for me that when somebody brings you bad news, always have in the back of your mind the most dangerous situation you've ever been in, the situation you disliked the most.
And remember that that moment when you get that bad news is not as bad as that. For me, it was very easy. It was during a parachute jump. And my parachute collapsed as somebody came under me and stole my air. So I could always remember my life being in danger.
And just about anything that happens in business won't be as bad as that. But at least that way, you have it in context and you won't react negatively to the bad news you receive. If you react negatively to bad news you receive, you never get bad news. And if you never get bad news, it's very hard to improve the organization.
MICHIEL KRUYT: I worked on this one team where the leader was very impatient. And he tended to cut corners. And when he cut a corner, half of the team checked out. So that was unproductive behavior.
Whenever this happened, people actually agreed that it was OK to call this out. And they had a-- they called it a balcony moment. They said, hey, we need a little balcony moment. And they just raised their hand. It was very easy, very easy to do it-- call a balcony moment.
And then they discussed what was going on, and they re-entered a new organization. The CEO realized that, oh, my God-- there I went again. And they regrouped and got to a productive conversation