Haruhiro attempted approaching Yume and Shihoru with casual topics for starters. ‘So, how was your morning? Did you have trouble waking up? Same as always? I see…’
Or, ‘So, what’d you have for dinner last night? Same thing as always? I see…’
Or, ‘So, we met Renji last night. It was ridiculous. Not interested? I see…’
Or, ‘So, what’d you bring for lunch? Bread? I see…’
Or, ‘So, you look tired…’
So… so… so… Haruhiro was starting to sound like he compulsively started his sentences with ‘so’. He wasn’t exactly being ignored, but it depressed him that all the replies he got were the bare minimum. Mary was her loner self–cold, distant, and unapproachable. It made Haruhiro wonder if she found any joy in her life at all. He admitted that he wasn’t exactly enjoying his own life now, but it wasn’t as bleak as Mary seemed to make hers.
They returned from Damroww to Altana’s in the evening and sold their day’s loot. The day’s earnings came to one silver and fifteen capas each which, for a party like theirs, wasn’t bad. But it wasn’t good either.
Haruhiro skipped going to the tavern that night and returned straight to their lodge. After he finished taking a bath, he squatted down to wait in the hallway until Yume came, having emerged from the bathhouse herself.
“Er, Yume?”
Yume stopped, but didn’t turn to look his way. She continued to pat down her hair with a piece of cloth. Yume always wore her hair braided, and now that it was down she looked like a completely different person.
The awkward silence between them stretched a few seconds longer.
“Um, Shihoru’s not with you?” Haruhiro said, finally.
“She’s in the room.”
“I see. Umm…” Haruhiro stood up, rubbed the back of his neck. “Are you mad?”
“No.”
“Really? But… It seems like…”
“Yume said she isn’t mad-yan. Has Haru just assumed that she was?”
“I… might have.”
“Why?”
“Because we invited Mary to join our party without asking you or Shihoru. I figured we couldn’t be left without a Priest, but maybe I decided on her too early. Though I wasn’t the only one who made the decision…”
“If it wasn’t you, then who?”
“…Kikkawa introduced Mary to us, and me, Ranta, and Mogzo made the decision. So I guess it’s the three of us to blame.”
“No, it isn’t.”
“Huh?”
“I said that it isn’t-yan.”
“…Yume?”
“You’re an idiot, Haru.” Yume wrung her hair with the cloth. “It’s not the three of you. It’s not like that at all.”
“Yume, wait…” Haruhiro turned to face her, starting to reach out. But he pulled back. “Hold on… what’s wrong?”
“You don’t get it, do you? It’s because you don’t understand anything Yume and Shihoru are like this.”
“But…” Haruhiro dropped his gaze to the floor. “It’s just that… I mean, you and Shihoru never even tried to talk to me. How could I understand?”
“Yume’s not good at expressing how she feels-yan. It’s hard for Yume. Shihoru, not so much.”
“It’s not like I—!” Haruhiro felt his voice rising and consciously pulled himself back. “…It’s not like I’m good at talking either. And at the time… it all came as a shock.”
“If that’s so, then it was the same for everyone-yan.”
“The same… for all of us. I guess that’s true.”
“Then isn’t it everyone?” And Yume started to cry. “It’s not just one person’s fault that things are like this now-yan. It’s not just you, Haru, or Ranta, or Mogzo. It’s Yume’s and Shihoru’s fault too-yan. Is Yume wrong? We’re teammates, right? Counting Manato, the six of us were real friends. Was Yume wrong?”
“…No, you’re weren’t.”
She’s right, Haruhiro thought. Yume isn’t the one who’s wrong. I am.
Manato had said once that they had become a good team. He had meant himself, Haruhiro, Ranta, Mozgo, Yume, and Shihoru. The six of them, together, had become a good team. Even though one of the six was now gone, it wasn’t as if Manato had been able to do everything by himself. Even if the rest of them only contributed in small ways, the six of them together could accomplish things that Manato couldn’t do alone.
Manato had surely understood that, and understood it well. That’s why even though Ranta was selfish, Haruhiro was inept, Mogzo was dull-witted, Yume was awkward, and Shihoru was cowardly, Manato had never said a word in criticism.
The five of them were so lacking that nothing would work if even one were missing. Manato completed them, filled in the gap left over when the rest of them fell short. It was the six of them together that made the team.
When bad things happened, it happened to all of them. When good things happened, it happened to all of them. When things got tough, it was tough for everyone. None of them were strong enough to bear it all alone, but they could at least share in it, the hardship and the pain.
Haruhiro hadn’t thought to share anything. It was just him, Ranta, and Mogzo, three boys griping to each other over drinks every evening solely for their own sakes. What did Yume and Shihoru think about being left out? Of course they would have thought that they had been unwanted, been made to feel unbear