As for the second paragraph, when you say that your school made you a woman who can adapt to life, you should present an example of that trait since it helps to bolster your claims about your school being able to prepare you for higher studies. Also, you need to say more about the portion about your dad getting a scholarship. Try to connect it to your desire to go to school on a scholarship or relate something about how your dad supports your desire to apply for and get a scholarship because he believes it will be a learning experience for you. The rest of the paragraph is fine.