12. Listening Secrets
Most teachers have wondered about which strategies they should use to motivate kids. You can't really make students do something they don't want to do, except in a temporary display of power or authority. Almost all the time, motivation is an internal kick to act. When your students feel valued, respected, and listened to, they tend to act more motivated. Now, there's much more to motivating your students than being a good listener, but without it, you've got little chance of success. Here you'll learn the listening skills no one ever taught you.
LISTENING IS A LEARNED SKILL
Sounds waves hit your brain, and you hear. Listening means that you can decipher the sounds into words. If only all listening were this easy. Effective listening is different, however. It means making a commitment to understanding another person's reality, and it often requires detachment or attachment, depending on the degree of emotional engagement the situation calls for. A good listener knows that when the student is talking, the subject matter is sometimes of secondary importance. Speaking is an act of personal disclosure and sharing. To the student, what's important is his or her needs, feelings, attitudes observations, and opinions. The topic of the conversation is simply a vehicle. Few students feel genuinely listened to, and as a result, it is a rare honor for them when they feel that their teacher is a good listener. And as a teacher, you feel validated when listened to as well. It says that your thoughts, feelings, observations, and needs are important. The listener's actual response is secondary. There are many more ways to listen poorly than to listen well. In a teacher-student or teacher- teacher conversation, listeners often do the following:
- try to figure out a way of leaving the conversation
-want to impress the other person
-try to find flaws in the other person's argument
- form judgments about the other person
-prepare their next statement
-try to avoid or prevent rejection
-try to buy time until they have a clever response
-check their watch or the scenery
-pacify the other person
-think of what advice to give, then give it
-drift off or daydream
-listen only to what applies to them
-pretend they know what the other person is thinking
-continually change or control the subject, rebut, argue, and debate with the other person
-constantly bring up their own story
-agree with the listener when they really don't agree
-provide solutions before the other person feels heard
- prepare to "top" the other person with a comment about how they did something better, cheaper, easier, or smarter
-over identify (e.g., "Oh, you know the same thing happened to me except and then switch the attention to themselves
-lecture the other person
-ask trivial questions that interrupt the other person
-provide constant reassurance that everything will be fine
- ignore while still pretending to listen
-listen as if they have to defend or justify their own position
12. ฟังความลับครูส่วนใหญ่มีการสงสัยว่า เกี่ยวกับกลยุทธ์ที่ควรใช้เพื่อจูงใจเด็ก จริง ๆ คุณไม่สามารถทำให้นักเรียนที่ทำบางสิ่งบางอย่างที่พวกเขาไม่ต้องการ ยกเว้นในอำนาจหรือหน่วยงานแสดงชั่วคราว เกือบตลอดเวลา แรงจูงใจเป็นการเตะภายในดำเนินการ เมื่อนักเรียนของคุณรู้สึกบริษัท เคารพ และฟัง พวกเขามักจะทำหน้าที่เป็นแรงจูงใจมากขึ้น ตอนนี้ มีมากขึ้นเพื่อสร้างแรงจูงใจของนักเรียน มากกว่าการเป็นผู้ฟังที่ดี แต่ไม่ มีมัน คุณมีโอกาสสำเร็จน้อย ที่นี่คุณจะเรียนรู้ทักษะการฟังที่ไม่เคยสอนคุณ การฟังเป็นทักษะที่เรียนรู้ Sounds waves hit your brain, and you hear. Listening means that you can decipher the sounds into words. If only all listening were this easy. Effective listening is different, however. It means making a commitment to understanding another person's reality, and it often requires detachment or attachment, depending on the degree of emotional engagement the situation calls for. A good listener knows that when the student is talking, the subject matter is sometimes of secondary importance. Speaking is an act of personal disclosure and sharing. To the student, what's important is his or her needs, feelings, attitudes observations, and opinions. The topic of the conversation is simply a vehicle. Few students feel genuinely listened to, and as a result, it is a rare honor for them when they feel that their teacher is a good listener. And as a teacher, you feel validated when listened to as well. It says that your thoughts, feelings, observations, and needs are important. The listener's actual response is secondary. There are many more ways to listen poorly than to listen well. In a teacher-student or teacher- teacher conversation, listeners often do the following:- try to figure out a way of leaving the conversation -want to impress the other person -try to find flaws in the other person's argument- form judgments about the other person -prepare their next statement -try to avoid or prevent rejection -try to buy time until they have a clever response
-check their watch or the scenery
-pacify the other person
-think of what advice to give, then give it
-drift off or daydream
-listen only to what applies to them
-pretend they know what the other person is thinking
-continually change or control the subject, rebut, argue, and debate with the other person
-constantly bring up their own story
-agree with the listener when they really don't agree
-provide solutions before the other person feels heard
- prepare to "top" the other person with a comment about how they did something better, cheaper, easier, or smarter
-over identify (e.g., "Oh, you know the same thing happened to me except and then switch the attention to themselves
-lecture the other person
-ask trivial questions that interrupt the other person
-provide constant reassurance that everything will be fine
- ignore while still pretending to listen
-listen as if they have to defend or justify their own position
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