This is a cancer survival story, for the whole story start at the bottom and work up from the first blog post.
It’s been a while and I’m feeling physically good, well kind of. It’s eight months of so since the big op and quite a few months since I’ve been compelled to share my story.
A couple of weeks back I had a check-up to make sure the cancer had not come back and all was good. I saw Ziggy (The Surgeon) and he was on top form , he poked around my mouth and we exchanged a bit of banter, nothing to worry about. On the surface that’s a relief but also not the whole story.
If I’m honest up until recently I have rarely slept more than three hours since the operation and my nerves are frayed so much I’m not too sure whether I’ve become desensitized or sensitized. Some days are good and some are heavy going – it’s about time I pulled my shit together. Recently, I was tested for heart problems and undertaken stress tests following deep pains in my chest as well as pains in my neck and arms. Thank fully all is good and I’m actually very fit for my age and the ticker strong, it was probably just a wee bit of anxiety which I’m normally good at dealing with but obviously no longer. I’m rebuilding my self brick by brick, stone by stone. Indeed, apart from the recent scare, the body is functioning well and the face is looking and feeling good. I suspect the jolt that surviving cancer forces you to dredge up plenty of ‘muck in the mind’ and that needs to be dealt with. I’m doing that now.
I stumbled across this video from Johnny Cash which to some degree nails the feeling. What have I become.
This is a cancer survival story, for the whole story start at the bottom and work up from the first blog post.It’s been a while and I’m feeling physically good, well kind of. It’s eight months of so since the big op and quite a few months since I’ve been compelled to share my story.A couple of weeks back I had a check-up to make sure the cancer had not come back and all was good. I saw Ziggy (The Surgeon) and he was on top form , he poked around my mouth and we exchanged a bit of banter, nothing to worry about. On the surface that’s a relief but also not the whole story.If I’m honest up until recently I have rarely slept more than three hours since the operation and my nerves are frayed so much I’m not too sure whether I’ve become desensitized or sensitized. Some days are good and some are heavy going – it’s about time I pulled my shit together. Recently, I was tested for heart problems and undertaken stress tests following deep pains in my chest as well as pains in my neck and arms. Thank fully all is good and I’m actually very fit for my age and the ticker strong, it was probably just a wee bit of anxiety which I’m normally good at dealing with but obviously no longer. I’m rebuilding my self brick by brick, stone by stone. Indeed, apart from the recent scare, the body is functioning well and the face is looking and feeling good. I suspect the jolt that surviving cancer forces you to dredge up plenty of ‘muck in the mind’ and that needs to be dealt with. I’m doing that now.I stumbled across this video from Johnny Cash which to some degree nails the feeling. What have I become.
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