What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died? You can say that she was beautiful and intelligent. She loved Mozart and Bach and the Beatles. And tne. Once, when she told me that, I asked her who came first. She answered, smiling, ''Like in the ABC.' I smiled too. But now I wonder. Was she talking about my first name? If she was, I came last, behaid Mozart. Or did she mean my last name? ff she did, I came between Bach and the Beatles. But I still didn't come first. That worries me terribly now. You see, I always had to be Number One. Family pride, you see. In the autumn of my last year at Harvard university, I studied a lot in the Radcliffe library. The library was quiet, nobody knew me there, and they had the books that I needed for my studies. The day before an examination I went over to the library desk to ask for a book. Two girls were working there. One was tall and sporty. The other was quiet and wore glasses. I chose her, and asked for my book. She gave me an unfriendly look. 'Don't you have a library at Harvard?' she asked. 'Radcliffe let us use their library,' I answered. 'Yes, Preppie, they do - but is it fair? Harvard has five million books. We have a few thousand.' Oh dear, I thought. A clever Radcliffe girl. I can usually make girls like her feel very small. But I needed that damn book, so I had to be polite. 'Listen, I need that damn book.' 'Don't speak like that to a lady, Preppie.' 'Why are you so sure that I went to prep school?' She took off her glasses. 'You look stupid and rich,' she said. 'You're wrong,' I said. 'I'm actually clever and poor.' 'Oh no, Preppie,' she said. 'I'm clever and poor.' She was looking straight at me. All right, she had pretty brown eyes; and OK, perhaps I looked rich. But I don't let anyone call me stupid. 'What makes you so clever?' I asked. 'I'm not going to go for coffee with you,' she said. 'Listen - I'm not going to ask you!' 'That', she said, 'is what makes you stupid.' Let me explain why I took her for coffee. I got the book that I wanted, didn't I? And she couldn't leave the library until closing time. So I was able to study the book for a good long time. I got an A in my exam the next day. I gave the girl's legs an A too, when she came out from behind the library desk. We went to a coffee shop and I ordered coffee for both of us. 'I'm Jennifer Cavilleri,' she said. 'I'm American, but my family came from Italy. I'm studying music' 'My name is Oliver,' I said. 'Is that your first or your last name?' she asked. 'First. My other name is Barrett.' 'Oh,' she said. 'Like Elizabeth Barrett the writer?' 'Yes,' I said. 'No relation.' I was pleased that she hadn't said, 'Barrett, like Barrett Hall?' That Barrett is a relation of mine. Barrett Hall is a large, unlovely building at Harvard University. My greatgrandfather gave it to Harvard long ago, and I am deeply ashamed of it. She was silent. She sat there, half-smiling at me. I looked at her notebooks. 'Sixteenth-century music?' I said. 'That sounds difficult.' 'It's too difficult for you, Preppie,' she said coldly. Why was I letting her talk to me like this? Didn't she read the university magazine? Didn't she know who I was? 'Hey, don't you know who I am?' 'Yes,' she answered. 'You're the man who owns Barrett Hall.' She didn't know who I was. 'I don't own Barrett Hall,' I argued. 'My great-grandfather gave it to Harvard, that's all.' 'So that's why his not-so-great grandson could get into Harvard so easily!' I was angry now. 'Jenny, if I'm no good, why did you want me to invite you for coffee?' She looked straight into my eyes and smiled. 'I like your body,' she said. Every big winner has to be a good loser too. Every good Harvard man knows that. But it's better if you can win. And so, as I walked with Jenny to her dormitory, I made my winning move. 'Listen, Friday night is the Dartmouth hockey match.' 'So?' 'So I'd like you to come.' These Radcliffe girls, they really care about sport. 'And why', she asked, 'should I come to a stupid ice-hockey match?' 'Because I'm playing,' I answered. There was a moment's silence. I think I heard snow falling.