If you are the questioner, try turning your question into a statement. Making your criticism clear and direct will give the other person the best chance of responding. Then—and this is very important—let the person you are communicating with know that you are open to their agreement or disagreement. For instance, you might say, “Here is my criticism or challenge, please feel free to disagree with me.” While this may lead to a more open and direct debate or conflict, it will avoid shaming the other person, which will foster an empowered and respectful long-term relationship where people will bring their best insights, feelings, and intelligence forward.