Hello,
You always have my appreciation and respect. That is why I am happy to communicate with you. I would be proud any day to have dinner, tea or coffee with you and call you mine. And if after time, it developed into something bigger and that's God's plan, then good for both of us. I have been hurt, suffered a devastating loss and unexpected turns in my life. Upon telling you this, I wanted to first, show compassion for someone who really needs a friend and a lover. That's why I offered my love to you.
Like you, I have had my share of hurts and disappointments. I have had my share of crazy relationships and scam artists trying to take advantage of another person's vulnerability. I know that's not you. I've had a lot of women who wanted to be my lover and none of them were ever a friend. I really want a friend and a lover this time around who can love me from that point. I need to build my faith in women again because I'm starting to feel the "idea" of woman’s love is different than her reality. That's not a good place to be. And I'm sure, you probably felt that way about men - you might have wanted to give up and say forget it. That's why I am saying to you what I said earlier. I've been there. I am there DEAR. When a child is wounded, you have to rebuild that child's faith and trust to go out again, take a chance and possibly fall. As adults, it takes longer because we have a lot of battle scars. So I know the process is not instant nor is it overnight.
If you want to really understand how to love me then take the time and get to know your friend, Cole. Find out his likes and dislikes. Discover what makes him laugh and what makes him cry. Prove to him in not just words but action that you are serious about knowing "this wonderful man." And let him get to know you: your likes and dislikes. Talk about where exactly did you grow up, your family and your education life. Are you a vegetarian or meat and potatoes lady? What's your favorite sport or TV show? Would you have the time for building a relationship if it becomes one? If you're serious, I believe you would do exactly that. Don't be like countless others online who shrink away or the shiftier ones who have a hidden agenda. We might find out we have a lot in common. We might find out we don't. But at least we'll learn about each other as people.
I would think with any man, for you this would be an important process since you have kids. You have to protect them and know whom you're trusting with them. Their feelings are crucial at some stage. Are they ready to have a step-father? How do they feel about you having a relationship? How do they feel about meeting someone online? It could be a learning opportunity for all of us since I'm sure they might be familiar with tagged. What are the pitfalls and etc.? Please take the advice with the love it is given - I am very protective of children and have great love for any child and their emotional well being. I'm also protective of you and your well-being and what kind of person would I be to do otherwise?
The bottom line is this: based on what you told me, there are countless of men, in your backyard and definitely across the Internet that would want to take advantage of your open heart. If you want to "fast food" in a relationship, there are drive-thru windows all over the world. But if you really want to cultivate a relationship, you must treat it like a garden. You can't throw seeds out there and demand it to grow. You have to plan, study and develop what you want in your garden, till the soil, plant seeds and nurture it. Then it will grow and you can enjoy the harvest. But everything has its season. All I am saying, if you're serious and you want a safe place to grow and develop the trust again ... I am here for you. But I too must rebuild trust, and as a friend, you could help me too.
Love & hugs,
Cole
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