If Your Spouse is A Gaming Addict
People who have a spouse who is a gaming, or other addict, often feel angry , abandoned, and betrayed by their partner or spouse. It is also easy to feel helpless in the face of an activity over which it seems their partner has no control and which can be destroying your relationship, your children’s relationship with your partner, and your social network and financial security.
It is common for a partner or spouse to blame oneself, or at least ask if there was something they could have done differently, or to wonder if there is something lacking in them. Although there may be problems in a relationship that were severe enough to make a partner try to find an escape your partner always had a choice about how to handle the stress they were feeling. They may have felt trapped, they may have felt that you weren’t listening, they may have been feeling angry with you, they may have been afraid of something else and if they told you they would lose you. However, they still, ultimately chose their behaviour. You may be part of the picture, but you are not to blame.
While a partner should not blame themselves for the addiction that their partner has developed, it is true that the use of gaming was triggered by, or supported by some problems in your relationship. This is why partners need to look at themselves and their relationships; not with blame but for a deeper understanding of it. This may mean understanding why you chose the person you did, for instance.
An addiction becomes part of a relationship, and often part of the healing is to have some couples counselling. For this to be successful, the partner will have to be able to forgive, to build some trust in their partner who has the addictive behaviour, and to be able to commit. Rebuilding trust is hard and takes time. Counselling will require that both partners look at themselves and the patterns and systems of communication and interaction which they have developed.
It is important for a spouse to receive some support ; often through the support of the spouse of another addict. A spouse may also want to find a therapist to see by themselves.