The Actual Ceremony
We say confusion because no 2 weddings ever seem to be the same, and the only person who seems to know what to do and in what order is the male elder who is invited in to run the show. The bride and groom also each have a family member to be their helpers, and these are told to scurry this way and that to help the couple through an array of Buddhist prayers, spirit-appeasing animistic rites, bowing and scraping to parents and grandparents, and more confusing activities. This part usually sees the couple kneeling for up to 30 minutes in front of parents and elders who may be seated on the floor or on chairs.
The part that everyone watches carefully though is the presentation of the dowry, sin sot, which the groom pays to the bride’s family. This is laid out nicely with a fan of stacks of cash and velvety bags of gold jewellery. The bride’s mother makes big show of accepting the dowry and then carrying it away hunching under such a heavy burden.
Blessings are given and respects paid, and somewhere along the way the couple become married, though no one seems to know when exactly!