Restate: Repeat what you have just heard, using words very close to those just spoken. This shows that you are listening to what is being said.
Paraphrase: Use your own words to state what you think the other person meant. Begin with phrases like: “I hear you saying,” “so I think you are saying,” or “you believe that…” This helps the other person know you have heard them and do understand what they are trying to say.
Summarize: Paraphrase what you have heard, including any emotion that you feel in the other person’s message. Use phrases like: “it sounds like you feel,” or “I believe that you feel…” This can confirm the other’s feelings in the context of the discussion, and often helps them to move on and pursue constructive solutions to the conflict.
Reframe: A KEY opportunity to describe what you believe the other person really wants, which can lead to thinking about constructive solutions to problems. Use neutral language, or err on the side of more positive statements.