Independance
Posted on 9 Days Ago by Mera Delwiche
Most exchange students find that when they come to a country like Thailand they lose a good deal of their independance. Especially the girls.
Partly it’s the culture. Children are given less freedom to make decisions, aren’t expected to get jobs or pay for what they want from their own money, and respect for parents and elders is also a much bigger deal here than in America. In addition, girls have much less independance than boys because Thailand is still very much a male-dominated culture.
But a larger part, I think, is just being an exchange student. Because we are essentially infants and toddlers at both language and culture of this country, we’re often treated as if we were much younger than we actually are when it comes to our independance. It varies from host family to host family, and much of it depends on the exchange student, but for the most part we are carefully watched over.
Many of the exchange students are high school graduates on a a gap year. In America, they could drive and were used to the luxury of being able to go wherever they pleased. In Thailand, we can’t drive and have to have someone take us where we want to go or find another means of transportation.
However, I feel like I’ve gained a good deal of independance here, rather than lost it. In fact, in the beginning, the independance terrified me. The idea that I could get on on a bus and go to the mall by myself was pretty frightening. The idea of buying my own clothes was uncomfortable (for previously I had been extremely content to simply wear hand-me-downs or let my Mom or Grandma buy me clothes.) And making plans to meet up with friends was very new to me.
My childhood was wonderful and I don’t regret the way that I was raised at all. But coming to Thailand has made me realize just how different I am compared most every other teen in America. I never cared about shopping or going places with friends. I was content to live my social life at work, at church, and at writing group I was a part of. And that was enough for me. I never wanted more independance than what I had.
Though I may have not been physically independant, I was raised to be very mentally independant. Having to make choices doesn’t usually scare me. I can think for myself. I can judge between two options, weighing the pros and cons. I know how to search out and find answers to my questions. I can form opinions on many subjects.
I know how to do many practical things that will serve me later in life. I can cook. I can sew. I can order food in a restaurant. I can fix a toilet, fix a bike chain. I can even butcher a chicken.
So whatever independance I lacked in doing “teenage stuff,” I think I more than made up for in learning important life lessons.
That said, I think it will take a lot of readjusting when I go back to America, because already the independance I learned here has changed me. The things I mentioned above that used to scare me don’t any more. In fact, it was a struggle to remember the things that frightened me when I first got here. It has just become a way of life for me now.
I do miss cooking though. That’s one thing I had independance to do in America that I don’t so much here. However, I’m cooking an Indian meal for my family tonight and I’m SO EXCITED ABOUT THAT!!!!!!!!
That is if we ever make it to the store….