can give you a few suggestions, but I am a bit short of time.
Not only the worth of money has changed, also the importance.
I don't know what you mean.
For example, take a coin worth 1 Euro. It was worth 1 euro last year, it will be 1 euro next year. Are you talking about inflation or deflation? The "worth of money" and what makes it change would be an interesting subject to discuss..
Is money more important to you than to your parents? Could your parents survive with no money? You need to set the context - what you are comparing with.
The importance of money has become so important for life,
Money is one of the most important things in our lives
now see even better, that money is really important.
I guess the importance of money keeps on rising
You repeat the same thing over, rather than developing a thesis with specific points.
You repeat the word "important, so it is a tautology. Money is important because it's important. That is not telling the reader anything.
You could talk about the history of money - how it came into being, and how it grew in importance over a long history., and how tribal societies don't even have a comprehension of the idea of money, and how a complex global society could not be possible without money. Even defining what money is would be interesting. Most money exists today as just digits in a computer system!
I recommend looking at " THE ASCENT OF MONEY" on Youtube. The economist and historian Niall Ferguson documents the roots of money and finance. It is very interesting and there are four episodes. The first episode talks about what money really is.