According to Webster, shame is "a painful feeling
of having lost the respect of others because of the
improper behavior, incompetence, etc. of oneself or
another" [43, p. 1232]. In the case of a family with an
alcoholic parent, the alcoholic may feel shame for
being alcoholic, for behaving in certain ways under
the influence of alcohol, or for not achieving and
maintaining sobriety. Similarly, family members may
feel shame on behalf of the alcoholic and/or due to
shared membership in an alcoholic family. When the
mother is an alcoholic, she may worry especially
about the effect of her drinking upon homelife and
the children [21]. Shame can take the form of embarrassment
on the part of a spouse of an alcoholic with
regard to what other family members or friends
think: "His family became aware of his drinking, and
they expected me to insist that he stop.