lying is often seen as bad behavior in children. but what can we do to encourage children to tell the true?
Children learn to lie from about the age of two. The first lies children learn to tell are denials of wrongdoing. From the age of three they also learn to tell "white" lies. These are lies that are told to benefit other people or to be polite. For example, a child learns that when you've made a surprise birthday present for Mummy, you don't tell her about it and when your aunt gives you a present you should thank her, even if it's horrible. Telling these lies well is an important social skill.
Young children start to learn to lie as they mature cognitively and socially. In order to lie, children have to understand that other people have their own beliefs and thoughts that are not the same as theirs. A child also has to realize that other people may believe things that are wrong. This is a skill called theory of mind and it develops slowly in the preschool and kindergarten years. As children become more able to think about what other people think and feel, they learn when it's appropriate to lie and how to lie convincingly.
Lying convincingly is difficult for young children. They often fail at this, especially if they are asked further question. Failing to learn when to lie and how to do so convincingly can lead to problems for older children. Research has shown that adolescents with lower social skills are less convincing when lying than their peers with better social skills. Persistent lying is also a sign that children have not developed socially and cognitively as much as their peers. Children who lie often are more likely to be aggressive, involved in crime or show other disruptive behavior.