Focus on action and actors.
1. Action in verbs. In other words, put the action in verbs rather
than in other parts of speech.
2. Nominalization. One way to spot sentences which don't express
action in the verbs is to look for an important word that ends in
one of these suffixes:
-sion, -tion, -ment, -ing, -ion, -ance
"We reached the conclusion that the observed decrease in grain
size from the Beryl to the Bruce field suggests that the source of
the fan or fans may have been towards the southwest." (5)
Solution: "We concluded that the observed decrease in grain
size from the Beryl to the Bruce field suggests that the source of
the fan or fans may have been towards the southwest." (6)
"We would like to make a recommendation that the upper
oceanic crust be more thoroughly investigated." (7)
Solution: "We recommend that the upper oceanic crust be more
thoroughly investigated" (8)