Over the urges and cravings of a bad habit
Self-control is what you build up, develop, create and learn by controlling your behavior
repeatedly. We should regard self-control as a skill. It is not a character trait or a thing
you have to have that lets you control your behavior. (or a thing that not having it
prevents you from doing so.) If someone says, "I have no self-control over my drinking
or drugging, or eating sweets or whatever," it might be asked, "Are you well practiced
at resisting your urges or opportunities to use or to overeat the wrong things?" The
answer would likely be, "No." This person is well practiced at giving in to those urges
and opportunities to use. (No criticism from me! I did this for years and years.)
Getting control over your urges and opportunities is like getting control over a bicycle
or roller skates or anything else. You’re not going to start out as an expert. You will get
control of it only by forcing yourself at first to act differently than you feel! (It looks like
the bike should fall over.) And it may feel very difficult or strange. But by practicing
over and over, you learn to ride the bike! So the reason people correctly "feel" that they
don't have self-control is because they haven't been practicing what would give it to
them. In this case, the skill is in resisting urges or opportunities to use.
Along with other related strategies, at SMART Recovery® we learn how to stall
Over the urges and cravings of a bad habitSelf-control is what you build up, develop, create and learn by controlling your behaviorrepeatedly. We should regard self-control as a skill. It is not a character trait or a thingyou have to have that lets you control your behavior. (or a thing that not having itprevents you from doing so.) If someone says, "I have no self-control over my drinkingor drugging, or eating sweets or whatever," it might be asked, "Are you well practicedat resisting your urges or opportunities to use or to overeat the wrong things?" Theanswer would likely be, "No." This person is well practiced at giving in to those urgesand opportunities to use. (No criticism from me! I did this for years and years.)Getting control over your urges and opportunities is like getting control over a bicycleor roller skates or anything else. You’re not going to start out as an expert. You will getcontrol of it only by forcing yourself at first to act differently than you feel! (It looks likethe bike should fall over.) And it may feel very difficult or strange. But by practicingover and over, you learn to ride the bike! So the reason people correctly "feel" that theydon't have self-control is because they haven't been practicing what would give it tothem. In this case, the skill is in resisting urges or opportunities to use.Along with other related strategies, at SMART Recovery® we learn how to stall
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