Your toddler's second temper tantrum of the day shows no signs of stopping, and supersonic, ear-shattering, teeth-jarring screams pierce the air. You'd run away and join the circus if only that were a real option. There must be a better way.
During the kicking-and-screaming chaos of the moment, tantrums can be downright frustrating. But instead of looking at them as disasters, treat tantrums as opportunities for education.
Why Kids Have Tantrums
Temper tantrums range from whining and crying to screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath holding. They're equally common in boys and girls and usually happen between the ages of 1 to 3.
Some kids may have tantrums often, and others have them rarely. Tantrums are a normal part of child development. They are the way young children show they're upset or frustrated.
Tantrums may happen when kids are tired, hungry, or uncomfortable; or because they can't get something (for example, an object or a parent) to do what they want. Learning to deal with frustration is a skill that children gain over time.
Tantrums are common during the second year of life, a time when language skills are starting to develop. Because toddlers can't yet say what they want, feel, or need, a frustrating experience may cause a tantrum. As language skills improve, tantrums tend to decrease.
Toddlers want independence and control over their environment — more than they may be capable of handling. This can lead to power struggles as a child thinks "I can do it myself" or "I want it, give it to me." When kids discover that they can't do it and can't have everything they want, they may have a tantrum.