permanence. (But, importantly, the inevitability of loss is frightening only
because we cling to “I” and “mine.”)
Ultimately, we suffer because of an existential contradiction: the contradiction
between the deep attachments that we have—to our lives, to our bodies, to our
minds, to youth, to health, to people, to our material possessions, to our mental
possessions (e.g., knowledge, memories)—and the fact that all things, without
exception, are impermanent. The suffering of life resides in this contradiction. We
cope with this contradiction by denying it or ignoring it. This is delusion. We
delude ourselves into thinking that what is impermanent is really permanent, or
we just don’t think about it. It’s not that we are ignorant of this contradiction. We
just refuse to think about it, or we disguise the facts.
Once again, Buddhism teaches that all phenomena have three characteristic
marks: impermanence, selflessness, and unsatisfactoriness. We have seen how the
attitude of possessiveness is related to the first mark. It is also related to the other
two. That all things lack a self implies that there is nothing to possess. If I am
possessive of my car, what is it exactly that is the object of my possessiveness?
What is there to grasp, to hold on to? The Buddhist answer is “nothing.” Also,
why is it that I should try to possess anything? Only because I imagine that my
possessions will bring me happiness. If I think of happiness in terms of the
enjoyment of my possessions, then of course I cling to these possessions. But if all
things are unsatisfactory in the sense that possessing things is not a source of the
happiness we seek, then the attitude of possessiveness is based on delusion.
Buddhism challenges the conventional conception of happiness. The Buddha
tells us that happiness, as we ordinarily conceive of it, is an illusion. True
happiness cannot be found in possessing things or satisfying our cravings. Rather,
it involves an abiding sense of fullness and inner peace, an inner serenity that does
not depend upon our life circumstances. If I see things as they really are, I will
cling to nothing. Material things flow in and out of my life. So do people. My
body will eventually die and decompose. Life ends. This is just how things are.
Happiness is the natural expression of understanding, really understanding, that
all things are impermanent. The Buddha was once asked whether he could sum
up his teaching in a single sentence. He replied that he could, and that this was
“Cling to nothing.”3