I was talking with a friend this weekend who is suffering from low self-esteem.
After hearing the way this lovely young woman was talking about herself, so blind to her own beauty, intelligence, and talents, I blurted out, “You must begin to love yourself. You have so much to offer.”
She looked at me with defeated eyes and said, “How do I just love myself? What does that mean?”
When your self-esteem is low, the concept of loving yourself is completely foreign. You see yourself as lacking and unworthy and feel there’s nothing to love. In fact, there seems to be far more reason to loathe yourself than love yourself.
Low self-esteem is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The worse you feel about yourself, the less energy and motivation you have to do what it takes to turn your self-esteem around. Your self-esteem continues to plummet as your brain locks in on negative and circular thinking, further entrenching you in beliefs that have little or no basis in reality.
Self-esteem improves by changing both your thoughts and behaviors. You must practice new thoughts and behaviors until you begin to turn the tide of your feelings about yourself. And you must continue practicing them to maintain a healthy love for yourself.
Here are 50 actions you can take to begin improving your self-esteem:
1. Become proficient at something
When you practice and become skilled at something you enjoy, your increasing competency and the discipline of practice will be a source of pride and fulfillment for you.
2. Reclaim your integrity
If you are living outside of your integrity, you will feel disoriented, guilty, and drained. Define what integrity means for you, and make the necessary changes to live in accordance with it.
3. Exercise
Exercise makes you feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally. It provides a sense of control over your health and vitality.
4. Volunteer
When we serve and support other people, we feel uplifted and valued. We have found a way to show empathy and connection through service.
5. Take care of a pet
Pets offer unconditional love and fulfill our longing for attention and affection. Pets teach us compassion and responsibility, taking the focus off of our own problems.
6. Care about your appearance
When you look your best, you feel better. You project an outward image of self-esteem and confidence — even if you don’t feel that way. But when you act “as if” you have self-esteem, eventually your feelings will catch up.
7. Do something creative
Creative endeavors put you in the “flow” state in which you are intently engaged in what you are doing. It stimulates the brain and potentially leads you to a passion or avocation.
8. Heal past wounds
Past issues and traumas can keep you trapped in low self-esteem. Seek the support of a trained counselor to help you heal the wounds of the past.
9. Plan something exciting
Plan for a trip or adventure so that you have something exciting to look forward to. Just the planning process with make you feel engaged and purposeful.
10. Have a change of scenery
Actually going on a trip, working from another location, or spending time out of your house will give you a boost of energy and motivation.
11. Spend time with a friend
Good friends accept us as we are, love us for who we are, and provide an outlet for fun and companionship. Our best friends are a reflection of the good in ourselves.
12. Get clear on your values
Determine your core values in life, the principles around which you want your life centered. Examine your life to see where you are not in alignment with the values and make the necessary changes to fix that.
13. Write down your accomplishments
Think back through your life to all that you’ve accomplished as a youth and adult. List everything you have done that you feel proud of.
14. Read something inspirational
Read books and articles that uplift you and make you feel positive. Stay away from negative television programs, web sites, advertising or anything that reinforces a poor self-image.
15. Stretch yourself
Step outside of your comfort zone in some way. Stretch yourself to try something new, meet different people, or approach a situation in an unconventional way.
16. Take care of your relationships
Focus your love, time, and attention on the people you care about most. Nurture your relationships and find ways to communicate fully and enjoy a richer experience with your loved ones.
17. Teach someone
You have skills and abilities to share with others. Teach someone who is interested in learning. Offer your knowledge and experience as a gift.
18. Practice affirmations
Keep an affirmation journal in which you write positive, loving statements about yourself. Repeat those affirmations daily when you awaken and before you go to sleep.
I was talking with a friend this weekend who is suffering from low self-esteem.
After hearing the way this lovely young woman was talking about herself, so blind to her own beauty, intelligence, and talents, I blurted out, “You must begin to love yourself. You have so much to offer.”
She looked at me with defeated eyes and said, “How do I just love myself? What does that mean?”
When your self-esteem is low, the concept of loving yourself is completely foreign. You see yourself as lacking and unworthy and feel there’s nothing to love. In fact, there seems to be far more reason to loathe yourself than love yourself.
Low self-esteem is a self-fulfilling prophecy. The worse you feel about yourself, the less energy and motivation you have to do what it takes to turn your self-esteem around. Your self-esteem continues to plummet as your brain locks in on negative and circular thinking, further entrenching you in beliefs that have little or no basis in reality.
Self-esteem improves by changing both your thoughts and behaviors. You must practice new thoughts and behaviors until you begin to turn the tide of your feelings about yourself. And you must continue practicing them to maintain a healthy love for yourself.
Here are 50 actions you can take to begin improving your self-esteem:
1. Become proficient at something
When you practice and become skilled at something you enjoy, your increasing competency and the discipline of practice will be a source of pride and fulfillment for you.
2. Reclaim your integrity
If you are living outside of your integrity, you will feel disoriented, guilty, and drained. Define what integrity means for you, and make the necessary changes to live in accordance with it.
3. Exercise
Exercise makes you feel better physically, mentally, and emotionally. It provides a sense of control over your health and vitality.
4. Volunteer
When we serve and support other people, we feel uplifted and valued. We have found a way to show empathy and connection through service.
5. Take care of a pet
Pets offer unconditional love and fulfill our longing for attention and affection. Pets teach us compassion and responsibility, taking the focus off of our own problems.
6. Care about your appearance
When you look your best, you feel better. You project an outward image of self-esteem and confidence — even if you don’t feel that way. But when you act “as if” you have self-esteem, eventually your feelings will catch up.
7. Do something creative
Creative endeavors put you in the “flow” state in which you are intently engaged in what you are doing. It stimulates the brain and potentially leads you to a passion or avocation.
8. Heal past wounds
Past issues and traumas can keep you trapped in low self-esteem. Seek the support of a trained counselor to help you heal the wounds of the past.
9. Plan something exciting
Plan for a trip or adventure so that you have something exciting to look forward to. Just the planning process with make you feel engaged and purposeful.
10. Have a change of scenery
Actually going on a trip, working from another location, or spending time out of your house will give you a boost of energy and motivation.
11. Spend time with a friend
Good friends accept us as we are, love us for who we are, and provide an outlet for fun and companionship. Our best friends are a reflection of the good in ourselves.
12. Get clear on your values
Determine your core values in life, the principles around which you want your life centered. Examine your life to see where you are not in alignment with the values and make the necessary changes to fix that.
13. Write down your accomplishments
Think back through your life to all that you’ve accomplished as a youth and adult. List everything you have done that you feel proud of.
14. Read something inspirational
Read books and articles that uplift you and make you feel positive. Stay away from negative television programs, web sites, advertising or anything that reinforces a poor self-image.
15. Stretch yourself
Step outside of your comfort zone in some way. Stretch yourself to try something new, meet different people, or approach a situation in an unconventional way.
16. Take care of your relationships
Focus your love, time, and attention on the people you care about most. Nurture your relationships and find ways to communicate fully and enjoy a richer experience with your loved ones.
17. Teach someone
You have skills and abilities to share with others. Teach someone who is interested in learning. Offer your knowledge and experience as a gift.
18. Practice affirmations
Keep an affirmation journal in which you write positive, loving statements about yourself. Repeat those affirmations daily when you awaken and before you go to sleep.
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