So what I want to know is, when are you going to give up the idea that you're a surfer? We all know your geriatric surfboard has gone to the beach with you every summer for the last 15 years and never once got wet. Millie says you're waiting for the big one. I say it happened in 1980 but you were too busy zinc coating your nose to notice. Rumor has it that your surfboard has been bolted to the top of whatever your current wagon is ever since. grumbles about birthday speeches, balloons, presents and silly hats, to honor you.