It will surprise no one that McDonald's comes out on top in the endless "crown versus clown" war. And it's not hard to see why: Its fries are more or less the same as Burger King's fries, but hotter and fresher and saltier (no doubt as a result of the chain's legendarily huge operations manual and the attentiveness of its bio-bots). It should be noted here that the McDonald's fries were once truly great, and deserving of their iconic stature, but that was back in the good old days, when they were cooked in leftover beef tallow.