craggy-looking old people talking about Nazis.
I'm a shoo-in to get that "A."
Not so fast.
I want to interview you for my film.
Really?
But my story can't possibly be as interesting as yours.
Oh, don't put yourself down, Joy.
That's my job.
[Door closes] Hey, guys, guess what.
I have a date with my gynecologist.
They're called appointments, dear.
We've all been there, Melanie.
So desperate for a man's touch
you make an appointment you don't even need.
No, I've never done that.
Nor have I.
No, this is a real date.
Remember that cute doctor I met when the bar got held up,
and he needed me to take off my spanx
so he could use it as a tourniquet, and I thought, at the time,
that's the most embarrassing way possible to meet a guy?
Well, same guy, more embarrassing way.
You didn't let him examine you.
No, no, no, no. And I know I said
I wasn't gonna start dating yet, but...
You know what? Maybe this is just what I need to get over Alec.
You know the old saying.
When God closes a door, he opens a window?
No. The best way to get over a man is to get under another one.
Wait, wait.
Wasn't this the guy who said he'd call you and never did?
Yes, but that's because he got back together with his girlfriend.
And then he didn't want to call just to say
he wasn't gonna call, but now they've broken up,
so we can be two miserable peas in a pod together.
I'm excited!
Oh, there you are, Melanie. - Guess what.
- I have a date tomorrow night. - Perfect!
So what you need is a practice date tonight.
What?
Yes, I can get you a date with Danny Doyle.
Tonight at :? Done and done.
I'm not following.
Yeah, I met him last night at the bar,
we didn't do anything, and now he thinks he's in love with me.
Up to speed.
I can't date him. He dates prostitutes.
And he spilled Sprite on me. He's not my type.
Look, I know this is a huge thing, but it's just dinner.
And I'll monitor your drinking
so that you don't end up in bed with him again.
Oh, please?
He's refusing to help Emmet
if you don't give him another chance.
Fine, I'll let him take me to dinner.
Actually, you're cooking.
And I would avoid dairy and legumes.
Why? - Nothing.
Okay, Danny will be here any minute.
Go put something sexier on.
No, I'm doing this to get Emmet off, not Danny.
And I'm breaking up with him tomorrow after the arraignment,