lection, collecting goods for recycling, including updating guard railings
on highways. We can demonstrate and show that turnaround time from
initial complaint or report receiving to ultimate repair, replacement, or
adjusting it has taken 23 percent longer, on average.
“When I divided it, I got two sentences, one forty-two words long, the
other twenty-eight words long. Still too long. The original second sentence
was thirty words long. But it’s not a compound sentence.”
2. In complicated sentences, consider how many separate thoughts
and ideas are being expressed. Can any be eliminated? Are
any redundant? Can separate thoughts be written as separate
sentences?
“I decided to separate all thoughts in the entire paragraph as a tool to
help me make the introduction more concise. Here are the thoughts I want
to express.”
1. Last year’s budget cuts have been integrated into this year’s
activities.
2. They’ve affected our performance.
3. We are responsible for:
• repair of streets
• repair of potholes
• snow removal
• trash collection
• recycled goods collection
• repair of highway guard railings
4. Our response record has suffered, dropping 23 percent since the
budget cuts were initiated.
5. We’re trying to do the best we can.
6. We need to do better.
7. We believe that you, the citizens, think we need to do better.
8. We hope you will agree to a tax increase so that we can have adequate
funds to provide the level of service you want.
lection, collecting goods for recycling, including updating guard railings
on highways. We can demonstrate and show that turnaround time from
initial complaint or report receiving to ultimate repair, replacement, or
adjusting it has taken 23 percent longer, on average.
“When I divided it, I got two sentences, one forty-two words long, the
other twenty-eight words long. Still too long. The original second sentence
was thirty words long. But it’s not a compound sentence.”
2. In complicated sentences, consider how many separate thoughts
and ideas are being expressed. Can any be eliminated? Are
any redundant? Can separate thoughts be written as separate
sentences?
“I decided to separate all thoughts in the entire paragraph as a tool to
help me make the introduction more concise. Here are the thoughts I want
to express.”
1. Last year’s budget cuts have been integrated into this year’s
activities.
2. They’ve affected our performance.
3. We are responsible for:
• repair of streets
• repair of potholes
• snow removal
• trash collection
• recycled goods collection
• repair of highway guard railings
4. Our response record has suffered, dropping 23 percent since the
budget cuts were initiated.
5. We’re trying to do the best we can.
6. We need to do better.
7. We believe that you, the citizens, think we need to do better.
8. We hope you will agree to a tax increase so that we can have adequate
funds to provide the level of service you want.
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